The South Indian Maami :)

This is the first part of a series of articles(?) that me's gonna put up.
I've been a part of all of these ahem.. experiences and so what you're gonna read is a first hand account :)

The US Maami :)
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Circa 2004
Avi and me were walking down Gariahat Road near a small shop dealing with Egg Rolls and Noodles.
We chanced upon a "well endowed lady with gray hair, kanjeevaram saari, nose ring on both sides of the nose, a large pottu(bindi), a bifocal, AND the ubiquitous shopping bag.

This lady was known to me as G Maami and this was someone who would smirk at the very mention of the word Onion/Garlic and Non-Veg was blasphemy!!!

She was with another person(with much the same physical characteristics - later on I would know that it was G Maami's daughter).

I decide to play polite and say "Hello, Do you remember me? I used to come to your house when Mom used to attend Bhajan classes, I am so and so's son yadda yadda..and after speaking at length about my ancestry, she shows signs of recognising me :)

Then the maaminess takes centre stage.

G: "Aamam da kanna, you were so small the last time I saw you"

(Me: (thinking to myself, Yeah like I could help it - I was caught trying to kill a few ants - what could I do man, I was bored - in a crowd of clone maamis trying to appease Lord Muruga with hair raising cacophony.)

G: I heard you had been to the US, is that true?
Me(thinking: what would you want it to be, what a dumb ass question? )
Aloud: Yes Maami, that is correct.

G: Oh!! You should visit time's square - Yit is Funtastick.
Me: Oh I see, I am glad that you liked it, I liked it too.

G: Where were you put up?
Me: New Jersey, Boston and NY City.

G: And you found it nice no? Lot's of Indian girls your age, very luvly experience no kanna?
Me:(thinking: She is 65+ and still does'nt let go)
Aloud: Yes, of course, it is, but I got bored somewhere down the line.

G: Bored - a ? What are you saying? I yenjoyed yevery bit of US.
Modern people like us should yappreciate you know.
Yit is a lovely place, I say!!
Me: Ah, that's right.

G's daughter butts in. Let's call her D.

D: Aamam, what have you done?
Me: I am sorry I didn't get your question aunty. ( :( )

D: I was asking you what you studied?
Me: Answers.

D: Oh I see, these days wopputunites are more, I say.
Even my husband is an engineer, but he works for XYZ in Ranchi.
Me: (Not knowing what kind of expression I should push on to my face)
aloud: Oh -- Ah -- I .. er.. I see.

G: Wokay, we must leave.
D: (doesn't want to give up)
D: to Avi - What have you done?
Avi looks at me and gives me the 'is-this-done-the-same-done-that-she -meant-with-you look), Masters in Stats. Aunty.
D: Oh!! I see, and where do you work, by the by ( Duh!! )
Avi: Answers.
D: See, I told you opportunities are better these days and she looks at G.

Meanwhile, I observe that G is gorging on an onion roll.
Me: Aunty, I gather you like onion rolls?
G: Oh yes da kanna, I picked up this habit in the US.

Me: Ok Aunty, gotta go..


G, 65+, Tamil Bhajan lead singer, used to hate onions, used to preach so in fact.
D, not worth talking about her.
Me: hapless onlooker and partial participant in a maami onslaught.

Maan!!!